During the Georgian, Regency, and Victorian eras, calling cards were a necessary accessory for a gentleman or lady who called upon friends or acquaintances, or who wished to announce their presence in town. In fact, one wasn’t received unless one conveyed one’s card first. Gentlemen could place their addresses on their cards, but ladies could not, and a matron would naturally place her married name on her card, such as Mrs. John Smith.
For the recipient, calling cards were a handy way of recalling who had come to visit, and which calls needed to be returned. They were also effective in letting one know exactly where one stood in the social order. For example, if an individual received a calling card in lieu of a personal visit, well, then, the point was likely made.
A lady's card was larger than a gentleman's, who had to fit his in his breast pocket. Cards during the Regency era were smaller than the 9 x 6 cm of the Victorian era. A lady's card may be glazed, while her husband's was not.
The engraving was in simple type, small and without flourishes, although script became more elaborate as the century went on. A simple 'Mr.' Or 'Mrs.' before the name was sufficient, except in the case of acknowledgement of rank (Earl, Viscount, etc.). Early Victorian cards bore only a person's title and name, with the name of their house or district sometimes added. By the end of the century, the address was added to the card, and when applicable, a lady's reception day.
Visiting card cases were made of a variety of materials, including silver, ivory and papier-mache. Their lids during the 1830s often depicted views of castles, such as Warwick or Winsdor. By the 1840s, after Queen Victoria's purchase of Balmoral, Scottish views became popular. Cases during the Regency were primarily of filigree, leather and tortoiseshell. Victorians preferred ivory, tortoiseshell and woodwork. Because gold and other metals were expensive, only the wealthy could afford cases made of these substances.
Victorian cards were larger than their earlier counterparts, so only a few were carried at a time.
Calling Cards in the Little House on the Prairie
In Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House on the Prairie series, there is a lovely chapter in “By the Shores of Silver Lake” when Laura becomes mature enough to socialize; there is great excitement when Ma and Pa tell her she can order her own personal calling cards. Obtaining her own calling cards is as much a rite of passage as putting her hair “up” or the length of her skirts. The shopping and purchasing decision on Laura’s calling card design is detailed, as is the admiration of her friends’ personalized cards. It truly is a glimpse into a forgotten, yet captivating , way of life.
The historic etiquette of personal calling cards reminds us of age-old social formalities that we can appreciate in the present day.
- There had to be a personalized calling card for each lady in the home on the first visit.
- A lady would start making calls as soon as she arrived in Town, to notify everyone that her family had arrived. She remained in her carriage while her groom took her card and handed it in.
- At the ring of the door bell, the servant greets the guest with a card tray on the outstretched palm of his or her left hand, on which to place the calling card.
- The visitor deposited his card in the tray and waited while it was delivered to the lady of the house for examination. And only upon approval would the guest be allowed entry.
- Cards from visitors were placed on a silver salver in the entry hall--the more impressive names displayed on top. The trays had a pie-crust rim so the cards would not slip off. In less wealthy households, china bowls were used to hold cards.
- The card was conveyed to the mistress of the house, who would then decide whether or not to receive the caller. If the mistress was 'not at home', it was a rejection of the visitor. A reciprocal card may be given to the caller, but if not presented formally, that usually meant there was no desire to further the acquaintance. If, however, a formal call was returned with a formal call, there was hope for the relationship to grow.
- For a first call, one was wise to simply leave the card without inquiring as to whether or not the mistress was at home. She would then take the next step.
- Young ladies could only have personal calling cards of their own after one year ‘in society.’ They could carry their cards in cases. An unmarried lady who didn't have her own calling card would add her name on the card of the lady whom she accompanied on the visit.
- By mid-century, a wife could leave her husband's card for him. She left her own card, plus two of her husband's--one for the mistress of the house, and one for the master. The names of grown-up daughters could be printed on her card when they accompanied her on a call as long as they were still living at home.
- Gentlemen would carry their personalized calling cards in their pockets. In America, men would never fold the corner of a card, whereas European gentlemen folded the upper right corner to confirm that the calling card was personally delivered. If the upper right hand corner of the card was folded it indicated that the card's owner had presented the card in person. A card folded in the middled indicated the call was meant for several or all the members of the family. Some elaborate cards had the words Visite, Felicitation, Affaires, and Adieu imprinted on the reverse side, on the corners. So whichever corner was turned up, one of those corners appeared and explained the reason for the visit.
- While waiting it would have been considered the height of rudeness for a visitor to examine other cards in the hall.
- Lettering on the cards (abbreviated from the French for the phrases in question) could include "p.f." for a congratulatory visit or "p.c." for a condolence call. If a family was temporarily leaving the area, they wrote P.P.C. (pour prendage conge) on their cards when they called.
- Calls should be made only on At Home days. Days and times for these were engraved on visiting cards.
- A newcomer waited until she received cards from neighbors. It was then good manners to call on those neighbors who left cards.
- Formal calls were made following ceremonial events such as marriage or childbirth, and also as acknowledgement of hospitality. Calls for condolence and congratulations were made about a week after the event. If intimate, a visitor may ask for admission. If not, they inquired of the servant as to the person's well-being.
- Ceremonial visits were made the day after a ball, when it sufficed to simply leave a card. Or within a day or two after a dinner party, and within a week of a small party.
- Times were allocated for each type of call. 'Morning calls' were made in the afternoon. 'Ceremonial calls' were made between three and four o'clock, semi-ceremonial between four and five, and intimate calls between five and six--but never on Sunday, the day reserved for close friends and relatives.
- Visits were short, lasting from twenty to thirty minutes. If another caller arrived during a visit, the first caller left within a moment or two.
- A call should be returned with a call, a card with a card, within one week, or at the most, ten days.
Such details of card etiquette were understood by all members of polite society.
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